Now put on the whole armor of God and fight the devil of feardefeat him and his demons that spread fear all over.
There is no working things out right now!
You are dancing as fast as you can to protect yourself, as the saying goes.
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Fighting is a part of any relationship.
Toya, your feelings that you are having are understandable, given the burden your are carrying.
You were the greatest gift dad thank you God.
And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn.
Maybe what you can take from this is your right to be authentic and to value who you are no matter the ups and downs in your life.
I am going through a very similar situation so I really feel you.
And, who knows, as time goes by, a deeper relationship might grow.